Holiday of happiness

It is human nature to hope for the best. For the vast majority of people, this is completely natural, one might say normal in terms of mental health. As the famous Sigmund Freud argued, two abilities are characteristic of a mentally healthy person: the ability to love and work. It is ingeniously simple: there is joy in both love and creative work. At the same time, it doesn’t matter what you do: in any case, there is a Foretaste of the Holiday, if you are surrounded by nice people, and the business you do is your business that brings joy.

These simple conclusions about the conditions of not just health, but even human happiness inspire serious optimism, which is based on an understanding of human nature: a person is born for happiness, like a bird for flight (V. G. Korolenko). For modern psychotherapy, which, as you know, in the first place, has as its subject matter precisely the nature of man, his essence and meaning, it is characteristic to put forward such a guideline in his work as “happiness”! Happiness is a reliable criterion for the spiritual level of a person’s development.

A simple and reliable evidence of a person’s happiness as a spiritually mature person is his attitude to overcome difficulties and fundamentally improve his life. Focus on solutions and improvements… The ability to rejoice is a truly divine gift: it’s good now, but it will be even better! This formula contains the wisdom of accepting your current life, which just makes it possible to enjoy its improvement and progress. If a person groans, gives power over circumstances to difficulties — that is, he does not agree and does not accept his life, he simply does not have a platform for optimism and joy for the upcoming events. The “unfortunate person”, the whiner and the pessimist, is not just personally disadvantaged due to the inability to anticipate joy, but he is “heavy” and even “poisonous” to those around him. And this only worsens his situation, confirming his negative attitudes and assessments.

At the same time, the focus on progress and joyful anticipation of achievements in one’s affairs and the expectation of joy from communicating with different people guarantees a shift in the focus of attention from difficulties and all sorts of symptoms and hardships to interest in life and the richness of various situations and events. Life is much more interesting in the creative processes of finding change and achievement than in the burden of symptomatic fixations. This thesis is obvious. But then the question is natural: if it is so “simple, then why is everything so complicated”? Why don’t people “get rid” of the bad habit of being fixated on the difficulties that naturally arise in life, thoroughly poisoning themselves and those around them this most unique and unrepeatable single life?

Strange as it may sound, but the value of happiness still needs to grow. It is much easier to have the value of success than to have a complete understanding of such a phenomenon as personal happiness. For many creative and purposeful individuals, it is important to take a certain “place in the sun” — to realize themselves in personally significant and highly socially valued achievements. For many people, being successful and making a career are almost synonymous. Serious official, professional or scientific achievements testify to the success of the chosen path and the high socially significant personality of any person. Therefore, from a very young age, we are inculcated in every possible way with the desire for Success in bewitching very popular professions. Becoming a pilot and even an astronaut or a famous artist, ballerina, athlete or scientist was the limit of children’s fantasies before.

Preschool children usually do not fantasize about becoming officials or deputies. Or some officials there. Whether children do not reflect the immediate attractive features of these statuses, or have not yet grown up to the importance of the corresponding social roles and positions — the question is rather rhetorical. For, as they say, the Truth speaks through the mouth of a child! Friends, the lack of direct numinous (wonderful) attraction — that is, inherent in the type of activity itself — in a variety of positions and social statuses makes us think seriously. About Ecology.

In periods much later on the line of maturation (already young age) , money, power and social recognition often become the criteria for choosing a professional activity. Social vertical mobility — official career — just responds to these external, as the well-known American psychologist said, purely hygienic motives (Frederick Herzberg, 1959). And according to Abraham Maslow (1944), the actual hygienic motives are characteristic mainly of the lower floors of his famous pyramid of needs — the needs for security and protection from the vicissitudes of life.

Social success is certainly important for a person. Despite the fact that a person first of all needs Happiness, the orientation towards social success in itself reliably blocks the ability of a person to experience Pleasure and Grace. For the socially mediated landmarks of Success do not imply the criteria of Happiness. No Success is justified if a person does not experience Happiness. The meaning of activity aimed at Success lies in the fact that it becomes a means for gaining Happiness. Then the criteria of Happiness become the criteria of Success! Climbing the career ladder, a person must become the Creator of his Happiness. There are no other options.

The core of a happy state and thus a rich, interesting and eventful life is the experience of the Holiday. A holiday is an internal state of readiness to indulge your creativity: to anticipate, anticipate and feel here and now the joy of what you have done in the future. Over many years of working as a psychotherapist, in the process of communicating with “productive clients” — people who have embarked on the path of joy and progress instead of looking for the causes of their own suffering and failures, I have developed a strong understanding of what really happens to happy people. Simply put, happy people always have a holiday with them. He never leaves them !

And it’s only for small things. Literally for the “small”: both God and the Devil live in the details. Miscellaneous details. Look what you have and what you possess! And you will easily discover the divine gift to live, breathe, love… And when the “small” is available to you, then the “great” is open to you. I have formulated such a motto for myself: “Be satisfied with the Small, but by and large.” Then self-confidence and harmony in relation to the world sought by many become an internal authentic property.

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