Ten Funny Things To Say After Sex

Was that good for you? That’s what dull women ask after sex. It’s a valid question, and it seems to be what you each want to know, right? But really, sisters we can do better. In an ideal world…

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7 Ways Reformed Culture Needs A Reformation

For those of you who don’t know what this title means or implies, neither do I. I hope you find my ramblings incoherent and my balderdash enjoyable. For those of you who pretend to, I hope we can have a good laugh together.

I don’t want to bore you with too much background, but I’ll give some context. Reformed theology is one of my loves, but I cringe at reformed culture. I can’t stand it. Personally, I think poking fun at and critiquing ourselves is a necessity as Christians. Our identity is found in Christ, not in Christian “culture” or our theological stance. I know this article doesn’t apply to every reformed person, but it’s worth the rant.

1. Engage culture, stop critiquing it.

I know this isn’t exclusively a reformed issue, but it tends to be extra noticeable with certain reformed folk. Why is so much of the cultural commentary I read from them holding those who don’t claim to be Christians to Biblical standards? Or even worse, making it sound like they have all the answers? Why would someone expect a book written by a secular psychologist who doesn’t claim to be a Christian at all to agree with our theology? Or even almost agree? Pointing out their errors on a public forum isn’t only a tasteless thing to do, but it’s killing our witness. On top of that, the content that tries to be “relevant” is embarrassingly behind and just points out the obvious in a way that practically won’t fix anything.

2. The paedobaptism debate.

It always amazes me how often and how passionately Christians will argue over baptism. For those of you who don’t know, the term “paedobaptism” essentially refers to baptizing infants as opposed to baptizing adults. There’s a whole logic behind it that’s uninteresting to even think about, so feel free to look it up. It sounds ridiculous, but people will fight tooth and nail over whether their view is right. I’m in full support of having civil theological conversations, but when insults and words like “heresy” start being thrown around, it’s time to stop being drama queens.

3. Focuses mainly on a small niche of society

Reformed culture is like a niche within a niche. I don’t know why people think it’s cool to say they’re Calvinists. Not only does someone have to be a Christian to even maybe know what that is, but you also have to hold to a certain theological perspective. It’s focused on such a small number of the population that it’s borderline comedic. Being able to even divide so passionately over our theology is a privilege. As Christians, we need to focus more on our commonalities than differences that no one outside the church even cares about. We shouldn’t be labeling ourselves as “Calvinist” before “Christian.”

4. Tends to be unnecessarily divisive

Try playing with others on the playground. Actually go outside. Interact with people outside your own tribe. “Oh, you’re from one of those churches?” “I didn’t know you weren’t a Calvinist.” The subtext here being, “Wow, I didn’t know you were a terrible human being who doesn’t love God as well as I do.” Just because someone isn’t a Calvinist doesn’t make them not saved. Instead of practically excommunicating people that just want to love God well with their lives, try learning something from them. We’re on the same side, so don’t make enemies of those who want to be friends. Limited atonement is by Christ, not his church.

5. It’s predictable

There is such a startling lack of variety in reformed culture. Whether it’s an entire conference or podcast dedicated to talking about Calvinist stuff, I would be lying if the content frequently caught me off guard (if ever). Quoting Reformers and obsessing over them non stop is immensely dry most of the time. “True” doesn’t equate to “interesting.” I don’t need to read thirty articles on why taking a Sabbath rest is important, how congregational worship is essential, or how the Protestant Reformation applies to today. It also gets pretty monotonous when the current writings come from the same circle of theologians all the time. I’m tired of seeing older, out of shape white dudes in ill-fitting suites talking about Calvinism.

6. The skill in decimating people is unparalleled

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from taking in reformed media, it’s that when they want to completely obliterate someone’s reputation publicly, certain people are masters. Unfortunately, some will do this to other Christians regularly. If you’re new book does not meet the impossibly high theological preferences of certain people, get ready for a public firestorm that basically attempts to discredit everything you say. Again, not everybody, but this shouldn’t be happening at all. Even if certain props are given, don’t pick them apart for five times longer. That’s like slapping someone across the face and saying, “You’re welcome.”

7. Put into practice the doctrines of grace

In the words of Paul Tripp, “Theology is the easiest form of belief.” He couldn’t be more right. Soaking in endless amounts of theology is completely useless if that knowledge doesn’t play itself out in our lives. Head knowledge can lead to Pharisaical living if left unchecked. We can’t view other people as simply another opportunity to intellectually defeat someone. We can’t be more concerned about winning the argument as we are winning the person (Not my quote, but I can’t recall where I heard it). No one will ever care about theology if we’re jerks about it.

I honestly don’t consider any of this new information, I simply put into writing what’s most likely already out there. I wrote this mostly for me, but I hope some of you found it amusing. Also, a big thanks to the guys at the Happy Rant Podcast for always keeping it light…and because there is probably a joke or two above that I stole from them.

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