Opening Ears and Persuading Others

Individual emphasis on listening will further the debates we have as a society.

Familiar with each other’s views, my friend and I staked our claims — to kneel or to stand — on the issue. For almost an hour, we attempted to convince each other of the correct position, offering arguments derived from the first amendment, lessons from the history of the national anthem, and judgments of the appropriateness of protest on a national stage. By the conclusion, I was even further convinced of my beliefs, and my peer was even further dug in too.

Alas, my attempt to persuade my interlocutor of what I believed to be true was an utter failure. Woe is me. However, after some reflection, I look at this experience and future arguments like it as lessons in disagreement. And I think, at its base, the disagreements often stem from misunderstanding.

I didn’t comprehend my friend’s argument well enough to properly disagree. I needed to listen carefully, grant her good will in her lines of reasoning, appreciate our views along common interests, and ultimately permit her the opportunity to persuade me. I missed every step. No wonder why we were perhaps further apart in the end than we were in the beginning.

So I’m taking the pledge, and I hope those reading will too, to make an honest attempt at listening before criticizing another’s views. We all can do better.

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